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I actually had nothing to write about this week. Life is a bit crazy and blogging has been the last thing on my mind. Until something happened, that made me question this entire process.
When and at what point does a medical professional cross a line, and at what point can they be held accountable for actually making your condition worse, than actually helping you. My experience this week has probably set me back completely to where I started, and has made me question whether ongoing professional help is really needed, or not.
I get that Psychiatrists are busy, I know that they are humans, with their own lives and challenges. Getting an appointment with mine is extremely difficult, and when you get one that constantly gets postponed, you start wondering whether you are actually taken seriously. I have seen my Doctor once since I have been back in the real world. I finally got another date yesterday after 2 changes again. I have been communicating with her secretary as we needed to make adjustments to my medication, and with the constant postponements, it became problematic. I just kept on being dismissed.
Without to much detail, said secretary in my opinion and in my case has been pretty crappy at her job. Not only does she come across cold and heartless, she is extremely incompetent. All my requests to my doctor was ignored. My appointments were not scheduled properly, it would be a late afternoon short off phone call. My chronic medication request, with forms never even reached my doctor. So yesterday I took a self care day, I had my nails done, got my car washed, did a little bit of work and got ready to go see my doctor when I get a phone call asking where I am. Long story short my appointment was an hour earlier than the agreed upon time when the appointment was made telephonically. This was 15 minutes into my appointment already. I said I will be there in 5 minutes and will just utilize my 10 minutes to do my medication adjustments.
I walk in, get dismissed by said secretary, who was rather on a personal call. Eventually when I walk into the doctors rooms I greet and mention that I am a bit annoyed. This is where the line crossing happened. My Doctor, the one who I have opened up to, who knows everything about me, the one who is supposed to make me better, snaps at me, and then proceeds to blast me for being late and inconsiderate and how dare I be annoyed at her secretary when clearly me not “coping” is having me attack everyone around me. I get the receiving end of her stress, of people being late, of her daughter being ill, of all the things she is dealing with, and suddenly I become the punching bag? We spent 20 Minutes arguing and then I got some half ass script with no repeats, so meds for a month, with a follow up appointment in 2 and a half months??? It is obvious that I will run out of medication before I get to see her again, and that based on previous experiences, the secretary will be of no assistance in getting me more. I was dismissed from my consultation being the bad person because the patient after me had to wait because I took to long?
I walked out crying, and have not stopped since. I contacted my doctor today, to inform her how I felt, again I was dismissed. Basically she said she is sorry, but sometimes things are out of their control and she is sorry she failed me. A four line message, one that comes across as one of those automated responses.
WHAT would you have told my family if I did not make it home yesterday, WHAT would you have told them if something happened over the course of the past couple of weeks when I was dismissed and not provided with the help that I needed. Sorry I failed you???? And what do you do? Complain? because who is going to believe the diagnosed crazy person over a doctor. But see, it does not matter, because you will never be held liable, there will be no investigation whether you did your job, it will just be another statistic. Just another crazy person who could not handle life.
So how do you proceed from here? Do you find someone new to expose your soul to, or do you go back to taking care of yourself, because by the looks of it, even the people who are supposed to help you, who are being paid to help you dismiss you. So, are these so called angles also a large part of the problem as to why people do not talk about their mental health or seek help, because of horror stories like this? Are they part of the creators of the Stigma? Or is one of those “angles” or “professionals” the reason you finally decided to end it all.
People with mental health conditions deserve just as much support and compassion as people with physical health conditions. – healthplace.com
